Sleep and Chocolate

I have nothing earth shattering to report. I’m not going to let that stop me filling a blog post with very little though. If nothing else, writing this post proves that nothing might be something – which pleases the anarchic part of my brain no end.

I’m trying to relax into the week. I quietly stressed all weekend about a conference call this morning, without telling anybody about it. Nobody noticed that I was distracted, which either means I’m a very good actor, or very few people really care about anybody other than themselves around here.

Life has been a continual slog recently. Weekdays filled with stress, and weekends filled with chores. I did manage to escape to watch our middle girl play rugby this past Sunday, but I often find myself wondering about life in general – if this is “it”. I know it’s ridiculous, because I’m very fortunate compared to most. I just feel a little bit lost sometimes. Maybe we all do from time to time.

There’s an old saying, isn’t there – something along the lines of “too much work, and too little play makes Jonathan a dull boy”.

It’s kind of difficult when you can’t remember the last time you had a night out, and when you do have a quiet moment, you think about work, or the latest struggle with the children.

Chocolate. Maybe chocolate is the answer. I don’t think we have any though, and the corner shop closed over an hour ago. Dammit. I wonder if sleep works like chocolate ?

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8 thoughts on “Sleep and Chocolate”

  1. Your mention of chocolate reminded me of a stray comment on TV in the last couple of days. I don’t know the show, as it was something my mother was watching, but someone said she was going through bad times. To get out of it, she started going for short walks (some kind of green space is a must, apparently) and she immediately felt much better. Someone else commented “it’s great, isn’t it? Better than chocolate!” So there’s your answer. 🙂 I think there’s a lot to be said for that… I remember stepping out of an office into a grand open space (buildings and parks but also a hill and lots of green grass to be seen, and blue sky all around. The way your tiredness just dropped away was amazing. I wished I could feel like that in the office too, but never did.

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  2. You are not alone in feeling lost. I am very much in that place in my life. I have a wonderful little girl a roof over my head and a job and yet i stand sometimes and wonder where the roads are leading? Battling my ED has made the feeling of being lost an even bigger deal for me. Just wish i could eat chocolate without the feelings of enormous guilt.

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  3. I hope the conference call went smoothly and didn’t add to your stress. I think we all sometimes question if this is “it”. Especially in those moments where you feel like you’ve given all you can and they still want more.
    Hope the sleep worked like chocolate. 😉

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  4. I remember when I got laid off from my job and I was hanging out with my friend and her small child. We went to Ikea and Target a lot. A LOT. One day I was in the section where you can buy food & drinks, waiting at a table with the child while her mother was paying for whatever had bought that day. This very strange, upsetting feeling just washed over me, like “WHAT am I DOING here?? This is not my life! This is not my child. Why am I hanging out in Target with someone else’s child???”

    It was a very tangible feeling of…I don’t know what…doom? Dread? It was awful! Never experienced anything like that before or since.

    I think I stopped hanging out with them right after that and didn’t go to Ikea or Target again unless I absolutely had to.

    Don’t worry about me “deserting” the friend. She had and has tons of other friends. I was just convenient because we were next door neighbors so she could grab me on her way out the door and I had nothing else to do (or THOUGHT I had nothing else to do) and I adored her little girl so I’d say “Yah, ok.” This was like 10 years ago.

    But yah, I guess the Universe decided I needed to be doing something else and I wasn’t listening so it yelled at me, loud and clear.

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  5. Always have to stock up chocolate like it is a snowstorm … don’t ever run out .
    Sorry you have had a tough winter . Daily walking forward is hard when you are in the thick of “ Kids & life “ … I had a solid 10 like that . Blue skies are coming .

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