Amateur Dramatics

Please excuse me while I do a regulation “Thank f*ck it’s Friday” happy dance. Of course I’m not really doing a dance – I’m still sitting on my ever-so-slightly worn-out office chair at the ever-so-slightly broken desk in the office at work. It’s trying to rain outside, and a guy across the way is trying to drive us all insane – sanding a piece of wood with a screaming electric sander of some description.

The project I have been stressing over for the last few days has finally gone live. I promise not to pollute this out-pouring of my head too much more with vague posts about JavaScript for the foreseeable future.

What can I share from the recent past (read: since the last blog post) ? Perhaps the story of this morning might have the most entertainment value.

Miss 14 let slip on the way home from youth-club last night that she “probably wasn’t going to go to school tomorrow”. I warned my other half last night as much, so we woke this morning with confident expectations of a long and drawn out war to deliver her from her bed to the front door, and off to school.

While clearing the kitchen and getting my bag ready for work, I overheard raised voices upstairs, and a rather lengthy lecture going on. I wandered up to see if I could be of assistance – which resulted in me standing in her room, bringing her world crashing down around her. After a few moments of not really negotiating at all, she lost her phone, laptop, tablet, and bedclothes. I also opened her bedroom windows as wide as they would go, and told her if she didn’t appear downstairs in 5 minutes, I would call the rugby coach to pull her out of the cup match on Sunday.

The resulting wailing, screaming, shouting, and barrage of complaints were somewhat muffled by her bedroom door, that I closed behind me as I left. Apparently I am mean, nasty, and a terrible parent.

I looked in a few minutes later, and discovered her still lying on the bed. I raised the phone in my hand, and began looking for the rugby coach’s number. She lifted herself upright, wincing in theatrical pain at the very thought of moving, before half stumbling, half hopping across the room.

“Where are you going?”

“My school clothes are downstairs!”

I watched her make her way down the stairs, a step at a time, eyes screwed up in pretend pain. I made a coffee while she carried on her act.

Five minutes later she re-appeared downstairs.

“Can I use crutches?”

“If you use crutches, people will laugh at you. Oh look – here she comes – the girl that has every Monday and every Friday off school with a pretend injury – and now she’s on crutches for the day”


She stumbled, and half hopped her way to the front door, eyes screwed up in pain, leaning on things for support, and making a real song-and-dance about the whole thing.

And then it all went wrong.

You see, she didn’t think that I might watch her walk away from the house. As soon as the front door shut, she was miraculously cured, and confidently walked away from the house with no trace of the life threatening injuries that half an hour before had caused her to be bed-ridden.

I wonder if I should inquire how long it took her to walk to school when I get home later this evening ?


13 thoughts on “Amateur Dramatics”

  1. What is it with the dramatics? I had some last night with the 10yo girl, and a big one with the almost 13yo boy this morning. OMG. 😦

    You take phones etc away as a punishment/consequence. I approve of this. I tried to explain this to my partner that instead of getting so pissed off and agitated at the boy child dillydallying every freaking morning (his sister depends on him to walk with her to the bus) we can only stop it if we give him a consequence and see it through.

    For my son, the weekend begins on Fri after school with Fortnite. I tell his dad, take away Fortnite on Fri. Other infractions, he gets less time to play on Sat, etc. Far as I’m concerned, an entire weekend of no gaming would probably cure the morning issue.

    But the parents have to see it through, like you do with loss of phone privileges etc. I’m good at this (I take Fortnite away all the time), but I’m also wary of always being the only bad guy…we have to have a united front with the consequences. It’s hard, that part.

    Tricky, this parenting. I think I got through to both of them this morning, but time will tell.
    Good luck to you. πŸ™‚

    And cheers. It’s Friday!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh man, I’m somewhat comforted to know I’m not the only one dealing with this! Sorry, though. 😦

    My 10 year old daughter does this most mornings. The other morning I actually told her that she was welcome to stay in her pajamas – I would still take her to school. Then I told her I was going to call her principal and ask if she could come get her. πŸ˜‰

    It worked this week but she’ll probably up the ante next week. *sigh*

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha – thankfully, Miss 14 is turning the corner towards worrying what other people think about her – so is starting to comb her hair, wash (somewhat) regularly, brush her teeth, and so on – FINALLY.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hope we get there soon! Right now both my 13 year old and my 10 year old are bad about personal hygiene. 😦 I have to threaten to actually come into the bathroom to scrub their hair if they won’t do it themselves. They say they’ll do it and yet it still doesn’t get done. :-/ Same thing with teeth brushing, hair combing, actually using soap, etc.


  3. Oh my that’s a tiring morning . My daughter use to do this kind of thing as well the funny thing is after school on Friday she was in great spirits ready to run with her friends right up until Sunday evening then there was a cough a bad headache you name it … so not fun BUT it will get better ..they grow up . So one day at a time .

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I used to always joke that when I had kids if I couldn’t adopt older my friend could look after them until after the baby and terrible twos stages. Now I need to find someone who will see them through the teen years too!

    Liked by 1 person

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